1. You want to be a parent
This may seem obvious, but the #1 reason for considering adoption is that you want to parent a child or add another child to your family. While people adopt for many reasons, the vast majority of them have this simple motivation behind their decision. Often people who have had trouble conceiving or had other issues in starting or building their family question if they were “meant to be” parents. In my mind, if you want to be a parent, you are meant to be one, regardless of any obstacles that have been placed in your way.
2. You feel a “calling” to adoption
Often, people who adopt say that even at a young age, they always felt an interest in and a calling toward adoption, even before they were aware of how adoption actually works. Whether you are religious or not, this “inner voice” that put adoption on your mind and heart did so for a reason! My husband and I talked about adoption long before we were married. Early on in our relationship we said that we would love to have adoption be a part of our family’s story someday. Now we are the parents of one wonderful daughter who we adopted domestically at birth, and I work as an adoption consultant, writer and advocate. Adoption is more than how we built our family—it’s a huge part of our lives.
3. You will find a wonderful community of like-minded people
One thing I didn’t realize I would gain when I considered an adoption is a wonderful group of friends, both locally and nationally. Some of my dearest friends are people I have met online in adoption discussion groups, and I have a running group chat with 4 other adoptive moms I talk to every day about everything from parenting to marriage to cooking. I have also met adoptive parents in public in random and unexpected ways, and I have been lucky to have friends from other areas of my life adopt as well and share that experience with them. I gained far more than just a daughter when I adopted—I truly gained a village.
4. Your life will be full of pleasant surprises
Often I find that people who have biological children are quick to assign their children’s characteristics to genetics. As soon as a baby is born, people tend to compare the child’s features to family members’, and as he or she grows and develops talents and interests, he or she also finds reasons for those by looking at the family tree. With children who came to your life through adoption, every interesting attribute or skill is uniquely his or hers. Though I have a relationship with our daughter’s birth family and can definitely see physical attributes that she shares with them, it is nice not to feel like I am superimposing my own traits, good or bad, on my child. She is 100% herself and 100% unique.
5. You understand that family is more than just the people who you are related to
So many of us have created families that consist of more than just our blood relatives. Our partners/spouses and their families become our family even though we are not biologically related. We develop deep friendships that feel like family. Even pets, who aren’t even human, can become our family. Sharing DNA is not required to love someone wholeheartedly and unconditionally.